Am I Free?

Am I Free?

This month's theme at Enterbeing reminds me of a fantastic quote from Thomas Merton, who was a Trappist monk. I've been thinking about this quote for about five years since I first saw it from my Spiritual Director:

"One of the purposes of the ascetical life is freedom. Freedom to do what you really want. And what do you really want? To be able to love without impediment! To be free to do what in the depths of your heart you really want to. To be free to love what is important, what is worthy of our freedom as sons and daughters of God. To be free from compulsions. To be free in the realm of imagination, which is very important. To be free from threatening images, people disagreeing with you. To be free from heedlessness, to be attentive to reality and fully awake to what we are doing. To be free to be at the disposal of reality, of others, of God. To be free to be able to be moved by the love of God. To be free from being overly sensitive, which is a danger in this life. This is not just being hard-boiled. We are free to be real or not....The really question is not 'Am I happy?' but 'Am I free?'"

I'm still blown away by this writing! I especially like the sentence, "To be free from heedlessness, to be attentive to reality and fully awake to what we are doing." What stands out for you? Which phrase or sentence addresses you?

This week I have the opportunity to spend five days at the Trappist Abbey in Lafayette, Oregon (near McMinneville). Thomas Merton is gone, but the Trappists still pray and contemplate! I'll be thinking of Merton and others who have influenced me, and seeking the freedom to which I was born and from which I have drifted. I covet your prayers and solidarity in this endeavor.

Merton concludes this piece entitled "Center" with the following:

"When everything is taken away, you can still be free and that is true freedom, and this is why we are here, to find this out. It is good sometimes to have everything taken away so that we are 'forced' int this freedom. It is good sometimes to have to be 'forced.' Most of us have to be 'forced.' This freedom comes only with grace and the nearness of God. God is identified with our inner self which remains even if everything is taken away. 'Everything' can be gone, but God is our 'center' and that center is all this left when we die. Real freedom is to be able to come and go to that 'center.' When we die, 'everything' (false self) is destroyed except that which is important, the true, inner self, the center."

May you seek freedom in the Center. May God's nearness lead you to true freedom.

P. Moe
5-2-05